Feeling 40

Want to know how to make yourself feel even older when you turn 40? I have a couple of methods to try.

1.) Have 6 teeth yanked from your mouth and get a partial. Not only do you talk like the senior citizens that you talk to on the phone and get frustrated because you can’t understand them, you get to buy dental supplies like them. You get to buy the fizzy dental tabs and the snazzy trays to soak them in. You get to use two tooth brushes because you can’t use toothpaste on the partial. And, you get to feel like an old hag. And, I am not referring how I look. It’s how I feel. Shoot, I smile really big at Jerry without the teeth. I even handed him my partial to check out last night. And, I don’t get to eat fun food for a while. Eventually I will. But, while I am healing, I must be gentle. It sucks. I want steak, beef jerky and a bacon cheese burger. It won’t happen for a long while.

2.) Your dad comments to your husband about the grey hair on the back of your head. I like my greys. I earned them damn it. I have a cluster at the front that I hope will eventually turn into a streak. And, he was teasing. And any other time, I would have laughed along.

3.) Aunt Flo also came to visit ON my birthday. I really shouldn’t complain. My periods are getting lighter and lighter. But, for a woman fighting her head against her heart, it is a blow to the heart. It means my body is starting the process of shutting down my baby making machine. 

I have never been bothered by a birthday until now. But, at least I get sympathy and medication this time.

(I wrote this and thought I had saved it as a draft here on the blog. But, alas, it did not save. I was relieved to find I had saved it on the computer! Hence why it is being posted late.)

I’m Not a Screamer… at Sporting Events

Well, we have had our last non school affiliated sporting event last week. No more soccer at all. No more little league. No more Little Dribblers. Full on high school athletic events. I am actually looking forward to it. School events have always been hard for me. I am keenly aware that you are a reflection on your children and vice versa. Especially when you are at a small town school event. And, more so when you are the parent that left and moved away. For me, all of the games are away games. I have always struggled with social anxiety. But, it has only gotten worse at sporting events. I spent one of the last games glues to a support post for the bleachers.

Yep. I was sitting right there until I HAD to go to the restroom. (I came back to find Mr. J has stolen my seat. But, I sat on the bleacher right under him.) Unless Ty is actively playing, I am a bit of a mess.

I have trouble telling the boys apart. With them all in uniforms and short hair cuts, they are hard to tell apart from the bleachers. So, when they do something great, I am scared to yell. I just know that I will yell the wrong name. Or, I will find some incoherent babbling attempt at a sentence will coming gushing out of my mouth that makes me look like a complete idiot. When I do yell, it’s because Ty has made a great play. Or, his teammates have made an OUTSTANDING play.

There are other reasons I don’t yell.

We have been fortunate that we have always had pretty good parents involved in all of the sports the kids have played. I can count on one hand the times other parents have made me uncomfortable. Most parents yell to encourage their children. But, there are so many times that they parents are yelling at their kids, “coaching from the bleachers.” (Even if you have a bad couch, you are undermining the coaches authority. And, seriously, you are distracting everyone. There are going to be times that you get a bad coach. Try to deal with it in a civilized manner.) There is the obnoxious rants at the umps. Don’t get me wrong. There are times when I want to yell at them, too. But, by the time a game gets to that point, all of the parents are yelling. And, there is the much less common yelling at the parents on the other team. Just don’t even go there. You are grown ups. Act like it.

I know that games aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. And, there is going to be conversation in the stands. But, there are other people there just to watch the game and all of that talking interferes. You know that show that you love at home, the one that you get frustrated when people talk in the middle of? This is their show. So if you are going to talk, please sit away from others. Or, watch the game even. (I am guilty of this myself.)

Most of all, above all else, remember that you aren’t the event is not about you. You may want to help your child by yelling and screaming at the coaches or umps. But, stop for a moment to think for a moment. Am I helping my child, or am I making the problem worse? Kids are easily embarrassed. Just keep that in mind.